13 Ways To Show I Care
by riskydenial
Summary: i have been with you for six years already but i cannot seem to tell you how i feel. In order for me to reach you, in thirteen ways i will show you and make you feel the feelings i cannot reach out to you.


**13 WAYS TO SHOW I CARE**

**CHAPTER 1**

**My Reasoning, More Wondering**

_I don't know why you make me feel this way._

A raven haired guy glared at a certain brunette. She glared back while rubbing her sore head.

_Why is it, that you, of all people, make my heart feel so.._

Well, the glaring continued, but progressed to a stare. Her glare, however, turned into a scrutinizing gaze wanting to know what was going on his mind and as to why he was _staring. _She started getting weird thoughts like if he was actually someone else undercover. Or maybe he got abducted and replaced by an alien of some sort. Whatever happened, this was a different Natsume in front of her. Well, maybe he did show this side to her sometimes, but she wasn't ready for that this particular moment and she started freaking out inside. He was still staring so she finally got to deicide what to do, or say.

_Strange._

"Hey, why are you staring at me like that?!" Mikan, the brunette, complained with a bit of confusion and raised her hand to hit Natsume's head. As usual, her attempts became futile, especially because this guy facing her _is _in the top rank of the dangerous ability class, and he simply evaded the attack but didn't stop staring at her.

Mikan must admit. Without Natsume there to crash with, her day just couldn't be completed, and, well, less interesting and no fun. She was actually quite happy he was there. Happy? She wouldn't dare to admit it, but her mortal enemy did make her happy for quite a lot of times already. _Ugh, stop staring already!!_ She wanted to shout, but managed to contain it for once. She turned her head away and folded her arms together. Actually, she was blushing and didn't want anyone to see it. Not with _him _just in front of her. No way would she want that. Unfortunately, she was oblivious to the fact that _he_ was hiding his slightly red tinted face away from her as well.

_Whenever I crash into you, I suddenly feel strange._

Usually, by now, Natsume would simply dust himself up and start walking away or plainly blurt out insults as if it was the most normal thing in the world. Mikan was used to the insults since she hears it a lot of times, maybe everyday, and because they _do _bump into each other first thing in the morning, usually. She started wondering what was wrong with this guy.

"Why would I stare at an ugly person such as you?" he glared. He quickly dispatched the 'stare' he was giving her, stood up, and dusted off his uniform. He was having a hard time to recover from the _crashing incident_ and couldn't hide his blushing face from the girl in front of him. He grunted and smashed his left hand into Mikan's face.

_I've been bumping into you these past six years.._

"Hey, ouch!!" Mikan complained as she started trying to get rid of Natsume's hand. Now she looked like a mummified girl who had tissues, er, wrappings around her face and could only let out muffled words such as "mmph..grr..mrrgh..!!" or such.

_Yet these feelings do not seem to reach you._

Natsume finally let go of her head and walked away patting her head then walked away with only three words which escaped his mouth.

"It's lace today?"

Mikan, still standing up from her fallen position, heard these words but didn't know what he meant. Wait. Suddenly, the words kept ringing in her head and after a couple of minutes, it registered into her head, mind, and brain.

Natsume was about twenty-five meters away from the corner they bumped into when suddenly, he heard it. Ah, the voice he wanted to hear. _Her_ voice.

"NATSUME, YOU PERVERT!" she shouted and added curses after and with it.

Of course it was her voice, even though it was an angry one. It actually made him grin but managed to hide it from the crowds by using one of his handy mangas. One of the funniest parts about this girl was her being dense and takes more than a minute to register what he says a lot of times. He estimated about five minutes before this girl would run after him and glomp him.

Five minutes. Four minutes.

_I do not know how to let you know how much I have been taking care of you._

Three minutes, two, one.

He smirked.

"YOU PERVERT!"

She headed for a high jump kick but Natsume evaded it gracefully, much to her avail. Well, she did anticipate this defense since they do it often, but she never did give up, which made _him_ admire her more.

Ever since the age of ten, he couldn't deny his feelings for her. It was just...too strong. Maybe too strong to suppress already. But he had to hide it. He didn't know why he couldn't tell her. Maybe it was because he was trying to protect her from AAO or the dangers or what he says as 'the darkness you do not wish to see'. But most importantly, he couldn't hide the main reason, that he was afraid to know her answer knowing it would be rejection. You might wonder, Natsume Hyuuga afraid? But that's the truth behind it. No questions asked why he's afraid. No questions why it is _her _he chose to love. All that were needed were explanation, understanding, clarification, maybe rationalization, but more importantly, the word which includes all the words stated. Reasoning.

He needed to reason out his feelings.

_That._

"You're always a pervert!! Why do you do that?!" She now walked beside him.

"Do what?" he challenged.

_I.._

"Do _that_!" She pouted.

"That _what_?" He pretended to be ignorant of what she meant.

_Love her._

"Look at my.." She started then looked at him. She wanted to let him know it was as far as she was going to say. She looked. He looked away. He obviously wanted her to continue.

"Natsume! Do I have to say it?! I know you're not _that _dense!" She lightly slapped Natsume's arm.

"Not as dense as you, youjo."

"Then answer my question!"

"What question?" He smirked.

"Damn this bastard." She whispered to nobody in particular.

"Talking to somebody, little girl? I can't see anyone though.." he gave her a devilish smile.

"No. Am not!" She slumped.

"Oh, I thought I knew you so much already. I mean, it's been.." he tapped his chin.

"..six years but still, how did this escape me?" he whispered audibly, obviously trying to catch her attention.

"What escaped from you?" She was aware of the fact that Natsume knew her too well and had hard times trying to run away from his questioning portions. But she was good at hiding something though. She hid it so well that it still is unknown to Natsume for six years.

'_Does he already know I like him?!' _She thought.

"That you're schizophrenic, how come you didn't tell me that?" He teased.

"I'm NOT schizo! And besides, why do I have to tell you everything about me?" She put out her tongue.

"Because you also want to know everything about me." He retorted.

"That..- I..--argh! You..-!" She replied but couldn't seem to continue. The raven haired guy she was with just knew her too much. She got too frustrated with the fact that she _did _want to know a lot about him too. She resorted to screaming her head off while Natsume started walking away from her and through the crowd which were covering their ears because of the screeching scream of Mikan. The crowd always saw this couple and got used to their fights, they knew when to prepare earplugs and the water extinguisher just incase something happens, again. But that didn't stop the Natsume/Ruka fan club from antagonizing this girl. Fortunately, she got used to the death glares they were sending off and decided to give back a smile to them. After all, their all time fan club president, Sumire Shouda did start to warm up to her, so she forgives them.

She realized she was left alone by her partner and decided to catch up. "Why did you have to leave me there, while letting me scream my head off?" she tapped his back.

"That's because if I stop you and cover your mouth, you'd simply bite my hand away. No way am I going to do that for the third time." He stated.

He remembered the first time, when they were in _their _Sakura tree and they were fighting and throwing insults at each other when he asked her to shut up, and what she did was scream at the top of her lungs that she was being harassed and sexually assaulted when a group of teachers and students passed by coincidently. And he needed to shut her up or else his image would be ruined, so there's the number one incident, where in Natsume learned his lesson not to cover Mikan's mouth whenever she's having tantrums after he got dismissed by the school nurse who bandaged a wound as red as an apple. Needless to say, the skin was torn off.

The second incident when Mikan bit his hand again? You shouldn't ask.

"Oh really, how sure are you Natsume Hyuuga?" she taunted.

"A hundred and one percent, little girl." He scoffed.

"Hmph! Anyway, it's quite early to start arguing about it, and besides, Jinno's subject is first and I don't want to have a bad mood and ruin my image in front of him today." She told him.

"You're image is _already_ ruined, youjo. Don't tell me you forgot that?"

"I don't care at all..and besides, he _is _starting to be good to his students. Let's just say it's a miracle." She smiled.

_Shut up. Everyone knows _you _were the miracle._

"Miracle? What miracle do you think happened?" he questioned the miracle maker.

"I don't know at all! Anyway, there's some good in him from the start I guess." She reasoned out, clueless about the thoughts her companion was thinking.

"Hey Mikan-chan! Looking good today, huh? Or is it because you're with Natsume-kun? Haha." Koko teased them as he passed by after softly tapping Mikan's head with his messenger bag.

"Koko! I don't know what you mean by that, but don't you see me with him often? I _am _still his partner. I don't think it's a question about looking good with or without him with me! And besides, people being with him is quite normal, right?" She turned to Natsume ready to hear a yes. But he answered..

"No." He replied flatly.

"Eh?! What do you mean no?" She asked. Dense as she is, it wasn't her fault she couldn't get what Koko told her, nor Natsume's reply. Why did he say no when she said that people being with him is quite normal? Is being with him _not _ normal? If not, what is it then?

"Mikan-chan, do you see any girl around Natsume other than you?" Koko hinted.

"Eto, hai! Hotaru, Anna, Nonoko, Serina-sensei, ..-" She started enumerating a lot of girls, including Sumire, that is.

"Mikan-chan.." Koko sighed. How dense could this girl be? "I don't mean it that way, what I mean is..-"

"Time for classes Koko, get going." Natsume but in their conversation. "You too Mikan."

"Hai! Ja ne Natsume-kun, Mikan-chan!" Koko waved.

Mikan was speechless. '_Natsume just said my name? Nah..must be hearing things.'_

"What are you doing? I was just telling you how late you're going to be if you don't start moving. Sheesh, I even called out your name." He scooped her with his left hand and put her on his left shoulder and started walking with a fuming Mikan. "Hey! Get me down Natsume!" She started shouting, at least not _screaming, _just _shouting._

--

Classes started, classes ended. Everything seemed to go along just fine. That is, except for one brunette who was just so happy this morning. Basically, the reason behind this was just because of a simple paperwork assigned to each student. Apparently, it was a thing about draw lots and no one could change the topic assigned to them. And the unfortunate Mikan, obedient as of the moment, got the topic 'What's Your Family Like?' of all the possible ones.

And this supposedly simple paperwork turned into acid rain which drenched and incarcerated Mikan's soul.

"Hotaru, I-" She started, but not a second after was cut by her best friend.

"I've got work to do, so remind me about what's bothering you tomorrow." She stated.

"But I have to tell you now, or el-"

"It has to wait for tomorrow, Mikan." She waved as she walked away, but popped in after a while making Mikan smile. "Don't bother me or I'll shoot you with my upgraded baka gun." She reminded as she, again, left the room making Mikan more depressed.

She decided to consult the, still and always will be, class representative, Yuu Iinchou. But as well as Hotaru, he needed to do something and attend meetings. Same went for her attempts to talk to Ruka, Koko, Mouchu and even Sumire.

_How come you do not see me as the first one you would consult? I've always been here, staring, waiting._

She looked around the classroom. She badly needed to talk to someone.

_I wanted to see if you would know how much I want to help._

Did she forget someone important? Does she have no one else to go to?

_I want to know what is troubling you. I want to know what I can do._

No one to run to and cry to. No one?

_Tell me what it is, I'll listen until you cry your worries away._

She looked around, left, right, behind. She just forgot that the place she was supposed to look at was right in front of her.

_I will listen, Mikan._

Because just right there, right where she didn't look before, crimson eyes were staring intently at her auburn ones. His eyes made her cry immediately, maybe something about his expression. You know, the feeling he was possessing right now, it was worry. Something hit her in the head, soft, and light, a tissue pack? She opened it and started using its contents. She immediately sat down beside the 'thrower' of the pack.

"Nat.." She started but decided to stop and look in another direction. Besides, why would the flame caster listen?

"Continue." He suddenly talked.

Was Natsume actually willing to listen? "Ah..you will..listen?" She asked, not being able to contain her shock. She wiped a tear off her face and waited for Natsume's reply.

A sigh. So, maybe that was his way of saying 'I'm listening'.

_Trust me, I WILL listen._

"Stupid report..what topic did you get, Natsume?" she started.

No reply. He just shifted position and stared out the window.

She took that cue as 'I wouldn't say it' and proceeded with her problem. "I got the topic about what's my family like. I know you know about my problem with family. Basically, not being able to spend time with them when I was little saddens me but, apart from my past, what will I write in my essay? I don't have these so-called memories with my family. I don't know what I'll be writing about. I can't change topics either and my best friend couldn't talk to me and I have no idea what to do.." she continually spoke.

--

I'm listening to you, remember that.

Don't doubt that.

Keep on talking.

"Are you listening, Natsume? I don't want to be like a blabbering person who's like talking to the wind."

I am listening, Mikan.

I wouldn't want you to stop opening up about something to me.

"No words of advice from the all high and mighty?" You asked me. Do you have any idea how seeing you cry like this make me disheartened? I just want to see you smile that idiotic smile of yours and then show me your bubbly stupid side of you which i quite hate, but heck, that's one thing i liked about you. Quickly. I don't want this side of you, sad, down, to last any longer. You started walking away. I wanted to grab you and say 'why are you leaving me?' don't you know that who makes me happy is..

"You.." I started. You stared at me, quite surprised, maybe? At least you stopped in your tracks.

"What are we to you?" Still, you are staring at me with those surprised and teary eyes. I looked away. I don't want to see that expression.

"You said Gakuen Alice was your home" I stated. I stood up and started walking away from the still-frozen girl I cared for. I don't want to say we're family, because that would mean we aren't allowed to have any relationship. That's why I resorted to saying this is your home. Besides, you were the one who made me realize that before, remember?

I'm leaving you for this moment. I wouldn't want to see you cry some more, I'd be sure I'd bump into you tomorrow and see that usual self of yours. I'd be the first one to leave, that way I wouldn't feel the pain of being left alone.

--

My reasoning is that I care, and because I care, I do more wondering why it is you and why I do.

--

First way to show i care: I listen.

--

**Moshi moshi minna! riskydenial deskido speaking and is here once again! I haven't updated my previous fanfic so I'm making up to myself and others by making another story. I'm so sorry that I'm making another one even if I haven't finished my first one :'( I love those who give me comments because they give me the urge to write another ficcy/chappie!! I don't mind if it's flames or anything, but I hope you tell me the reason behind your harsh words if there are any. I fully accept suggestions too, by the way! **

**I hope you keep supporting me waves!! ja ne! I think I made this chappie a bit too long though..TAT**


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